


Getting Better Starts With a Piece of Cake

by Lamebutsecretelyawesomenerd



Series: We're Almost There [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Depression, Frank's not dead, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Muteness, Patrick Stump-Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-02-24 03:59:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 12,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2567426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamebutsecretelyawesomenerd/pseuds/Lamebutsecretelyawesomenerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank's birthday had always been special.  At first, it had been Halloween.  Then, it became more of a celebration for surviving another year.  Then, it was the anniversary of his death.  Now, it's the day he met Gerard.</p><p>Planetary Mental Asylum for Young Men never had a good acronym.  It still didn't.</p><p>Gerard had always been a little broken, he just didn't know it.  Not until he shattered.</p><p>Quick A.N.:<br/>First AO3 fic, so please don't hate me too much!<br/>This story is 21 chapters all taking place in 1 day.  Sequel(s) apply to a wider time frame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Birthdays and Sucky Introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy.  
> Gosh, what was that...sorry  
> Okay, so I'm in the process of rewriting...mainly because my writing sucks and I'm trying to fix it, but thank you for reading this story!

**Disclaimer:  I am in no way affiliated with My Chemical Romance.  This is a purely fictional story.  Also, I have no experience with mental institutions.  All details are sprouted from the magical beans of my imagination.  There is probably a large amount of false details and facts.  I am merely a true fan of MCR.**

**Chapter 1:**  
Frank had always wanted to die on his birthday. It was just something he had always thought, something that had always had a strange appeal. He had thought it since he was quite young, actually. Of course, when he thought about death as a little kid, he wasn't as much of a fucked-up eighteen-year-old, well, now nineteen-year-old.

Today was a special day for Frank. It was his nineteenth birthday. But that's not why it was special; it was the one year anniversary of his death. And he was celebrating it at the Planetary Mental Asylum for Young Men. PMAYM. Not a great acronym.

Frank's day began as usual, waking up by 3:30 in the morning, thinking in bed for the eternity of twenty minutes, getting ready, and writing one solitary line with a dry erase marker in his room's bathroom mirror. 

He had chosen something, but was a little too tired to think about it, so he went with a casual "Happy Birthday To Me".  He didn't use an exclamation point.  He hated those, always sucking the meaning out of sentences.  They were just so...annoying...so happy.  Ugh.

The nurses had already done their morning wake-up rounds as he was exiting the room for breakfast. He nodded his head in greeting to Bob and Ray, two of his closest acquaintances. He didn't have any friends. He didn't want any friends, either, so everything worked out in the end.  He carried his composition book, as always, in case someone decided to strike up a conversation (That never happens, so it was highly unlikely, but he liked to be prepared).  He ate his usual breakfast, cereal and some weird liquid they gave him in a styrofoam cup. He hated styrofoam.  His favorite person in the world, Mort *sarcasm*, decided to be an extra pissy two-year-old and scrape his fork against the side of the cup.  Well, that was a great way to start off his birthday. Before he knew it, a cake was being rolled in and people were singing. To him. He had never celebrated his birthday before. At least, not like this. He simply plastered a fake smile on his face and swayed slightly to the extremely off key song. This confirmed his suspicions that everyone in this asylum was tone deaf. But the singing was cut short by faint, but distinct yelling. It wasn't disruptive or anything, but really, there were only, like, two people still singing, and everyone wanted it to stop.  Everyone knew what that noise meant. Some excitedly bounced from their chairs, while others groaned in disgust. Not at the fact that they get a new person to become aquainted with, but at the fact that they're struggling. They all-well, most of them-had struggled against the guards, desperate to be free. But they were only met with lots of muscle and more gushy therapy sessions. They knew it was pointless to struggle.

They made their way to the entrance, Frank grabbing a slice of cake as he went. They laid their eyes on _the new one_. Then, bored now that the hopeless struggle was over, went back to eat cake. Frank remembered how he struggled continuously to adjust. He remembered how he wished someone had been there to help him. All through his life, he was stuck with painful memories of abandonment and loss. So, he stayed behind. But he was still hidden in the shadows, watching every move this new kid made. It was fun, watching the boy's eyes dart back and forth between the guards and the open door behind them. And then, he made the stupid mistake of trying to run. By now, everyone had gone back to the cafeteria and Frank watched, observing his agility. He had actually somehow managed to make it out the door, but before long, he was being dragged back inside. Ha, he actually thought he could escape. Well anyways, he was plopped down into a chair and seemed defeated. The twenty or so-year old scanned the room, the look of fire replaced by wide eyed curiosity. His eyes met with Frank's, one set of hazel to the other. Understanding he had been noticed, Frank reluctantly stepped from the safety of his dark corner and into the light. The new kid slowly stood up and made his way over, glancing quickly at the guards. Seeing they were  
occupied, he extended his hand.

"Gerard."

Frank did not take his hand, nor did he introduce himself. Because he was an idiot. He had thought it would be fine to just come over and help the new kid adjust. Well guess what, adjusting means talking. So, Frank quickly shoved the plate of cake into the other boy's outstretched hand before taking off back to the cafeteria. And so, the new kid, Gerard, began his new life at PMAYM. Still not a good acronym.  But it was better because he had cake.

***

Gerard never got to eat his cake. He was quite upset about that. It looked good. And, he felt obligated to enjoy it since that kid had brought it for him.

But it had been confiscated by the security guards almost immediately. Gerard glumly accepted this and waited for a while before he was led into a small, private room. A man in a lab coat asked for his phone and metal accessories. He gave him his phone and bracelet, but decided to keep on his necklace. Of course, the man discovered this as he was patting Gerard down, so his "PP" (Party Poison) necklace that Mikey had given him was taken. It was originally a joke, but after a few years, he had developed the definitive nickname of "Party Poison". Probably because he was an antisocial weirdo that killed the life of the party.  Or maybe because of his near death experience with alcohol poisoning. Either way, he was known as "Party Poison", the freak that had addictions and absolutely no friends. Plus, it didn't help that he was gay. The man in the coat looked at him expectantly and Gerard realized he must've been asked a question.

"Hmmm?"

The man just rolled his eyes before asking his date of birth and full name again. That was easy enough.  Took some thinking, but he made it through alright.  The next question was a bit of a struggle for Gerard.

"When was the last time you consumed any alcoholic beverages?" Gerard stuttered. He couldn't remember. Sometime last night, probably, but he had woken up with a splitting headache in the hospital around 1:00 this morning.

"10 hours ago...?"

It came out more as a question than a statement. But at least it was legal. The man knew this, half-glaring, half-staring at the uncomfortable 21 year old in front of him. Gerard felt the familiar rumbling of his stomach, signaling that he was about to throw up. He made it to the bathroom just in time. A nurse entered and spoke in what was supposed to be a soothing voice. She awkwardly stood off to the side as he continued to flip his organs inside out. At last, he was done and made his way back to the private room. He had stared at the ground, silently ordering it to steady beneath him. It didn't listen. Before he knew it, there was another pair of feet in his field of vision and then his body crashed forcefully into the other person. They both ended up on the ground, Gerard yelping slightly as he lost sense of his surroundings. Gerard mumbled an apology and glanced up, embarrassed, at the other boy. But the hazel-eyed boy just shrugged and helped him back to his feet. Gerard quickly thanked him and made his way back to the room. By then, the man in the white coat was already gone.


	2. Collisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post a new chapter. Just cuz...I'm so excited and I always do this, I always ALWAYS say I will finish the story before posting another chapter, but I just can't resist the temptations! Anyways, will probably be a while for next update. This is a shortie chapter. Well, it's just funsized! Like me, haha. Anyways, thanks for reading! Luv ya guys!

****Disclaimer:  I am in no way affiliated with My Chemical Romance.  This is a purely fictional story.  Also, I have no experience with mental institutions.  All details are sprouted from the magical beans of my imagination.  There is probably a large amount of false details and facts.  I am merely a true fan of MCR.** **

**Chapter 2:**

Frank had felt bad about his "welcoming" actions. Because the best way to help people adjust to new situations is to give them something that will give them diabetes, don't say a single word, and run away.  So, he brainstormed ideas for how to make himself appear more...he didn't even know, he wasn't necessarily a "people person". Or a "nice person".  Or a "happy person".  Hell, he was barely even a person.  He had been on his way to the bathroom when the solution hit him. Literally. He glanced cautiously at the boy lying on the ground next to him. He seemed more stunned than Frank, so Frank quickly leapt up and brought the boy to his feet. He didn't hear what the other boy was saying under his breath, but it didn't really matter to him. He just shrugged and dragged the boy up with him. He waved goodbye before taking off again towards the bathroom, wincing slightly at the familiar smell of bile lingering on his hands. And he felt bad about the cake.  The boy probably didn't even get to eat it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I just realized how short this is. I might post another chapter tonight! Thxs luv ya guys so much! MCRmy forever!


	3. Another try at introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, as I said, here's the next chapter! Enjoy! Thanks to everyone who read and did everything else! I appreciate it so much! Love ya! This one is a long one!  
> Oh my gosh, I'm such a cheesy writer. Give me some credit, I'm still learning! No? Okay...

****Disclaimer:  I am in no way affiliated with My Chemical Romance.  This is a purely fictional story.  Also, I have no experience with mental institutions.  All details are sprouted from the magical beans of my imagination.  There is probably a large amount of false details and facts.  I am merely a true fan of MCR.** **

**Chapter 3:**  
Gerard was given a room, but he was sharing. That was fine with him, he just hoped his roommate wouldn't care about his strange habits. Or his cuts. And the most worrying thought for Gerard was that his roommate would hear his sleep crying. He hadn't known he cried until his brother had spent the night with him. Mikey had asked him why he was crying. And Gerard didn't have an answer. All he had was a "sorry" and a sniffle. But Gerard hadn't found out how to stop the consistent night time tears. So, he hoped his roommate was a sound sleeper.  That was all he could really do.

 

He hauled his one bag (he hadn't exercised in a while, but he was still functioning-he found that strange) into the room. He examined the room carefully and slowly sat on the edge of the unoccupied bed. The two beds were across the room from one another, both equal distances from the small circular window in the middle. Gerard got up and attempted to glance out the window, but it was too high. He grabbed a chair from the closet and set it in front. Then, he stood on it and peered outside. It was dull and gray. The clouds were crowding into the open sky and he watched a group of kids run down the street, probably ditching school. Gerard knew that feeling, energy coursing through his veins, telling him he could do anything, pushing him forward, guiding him into the blinding, unmistakable light.

"Sir."

He jumped three feet in the air, bumping his head against the hard ceiling. Startled, he missed the chair on his way back down, crashing onto the floor.

"And that, Sir, is why we do not allow residents to stand on chairs."

Gerard looked up at the nurse who was standing over him. His head still throbbed and he buried his bright red face in his arms in embarrassment.

She attempted to pick him up and guide him over to the bed, but Gerard was a huge mess, dizzy and still a little nauseous. He managed to stand up, but quickly keeled over and just gave up, lying on the floor face up. The nurse gave up, too, eventually just standing up and leaning on the door frame.

“Anyways, Mr. Way, I came to introduce you to your roommate.”

Gerard looked up and finally noticed the cake boy (whose name he still didn't know) standing outside the doorway. He waved at Gerard and Gerard waved back shyly. His eyes met the younger boy's hazel orbs, drawing him in. He tried to see into his mind, but he quickly found that something was blocking him, stopping him from learning anything more, from going any deeper.

"Gerard, this is your roommate, Frank. I will leave you two to get to know each other. You both are very nice boys."

Frank, the cake boy, broke his gaze and Gerard realized he was laughing. At him. It wasn't unusual, he wasn't hurt by this in any way, but he was rather surprised. Frank's small body had been hacked with silent laughter, his mouth open and his shoulders shaking up and down. Gerard witnessed this site and a smile crossed his face. Before long, he had broken out in laughter. He could only imagine what he had looked like, falling over like a sack of potatoes. Once their laughter had died down, they noticed that the nurse had left them. Frank tentatively entered the room and sat on his bed. Gerard stood and made his way over to his own, wincing at the chorus of creaks and moans coming from the old mattress frame. The room was silent for a few minutes, Gerard awkwardly thinking of a conversation to start. He wondered continually why Frank didn't say anything; he was the new one, after all.

Eventually, Gerard stood and walked over across the room new sat next to Frank. But Frank had, at the same time, decided to move to the other side of his bed, causing Gerard to fall directly on top of him. Gerard stuttered out a sorry as he examined the crushed boy underneath him. Frank just chuckled and moved back to the side of the bed. He allowed space between him and the edge of the bed, so Gerard decided it was okay for him to sit down.

"I don't think we were properly introduced," Gerard started. He held out his hand to Frank.

"I'm Gerard. And I'm almost positive your name's Frank?"

Frank just nodded and shook his hand. He reached for a notebook, which he had placed on his nightstand.

Gerard watched curiously as Frank flipped through many pages of drawings and sprawled out sentences. Frank

began writing out a message.

_Hi. Welcome. And I'm sorry to say, but you were incorrect._

It took Gerard a few minutes before he realized what was happening.  He raised an eyebrow.

_My name is actually Hannah Montana._

"Oh, nice to meet you.  But I'm quite intrigued, my name is Miley Cyrus. Quite the coincidence.  And um...sorry about earlier, you know, crashing into you, and all.  I was kinda shaken up, you know, after being dragged in here."  

_Oh, don't worry about it, I'm really really clumsy.  What brings you to this wonderful land of candy and icing?_

"Alcoholism. And some other messed up...shit. How long have you been here?"

_Almost a year. It'll be a week until my first "birthday". And yeah, depression, messed up shit, and I don't speak, too.  Plus, they tried to lock me in here for having multiple personalities, Miley and Hannah.  They just don't understand how difficult it is to live both lives without anyone knowing!_

At this point, Frank looked up and was met face to face with Gerard. He hadn't realized Gerard had leaned in to read his note. Their faces were less than a few inches apart. Frank and Gerard both self-consciously bounced back, stunned. Gerard quickly cleared his throat and picked up the notebook that had been thrown between them carelessly in the midst of...that, whatever it was. Gerard's assumptions had been confirmed; Frank wasn't a weirdo, like him, he just didn't speak.

He didn't know what to say.

"Well, at least you've got the best of both worlds..."

He cleared his throat awkwardly.  He decided to just go ahead and ask.

"How old are you? I mean, you're kind of...erm...small?"

_Haha, yeah, I'm fun sized. I'm 19 today._

"Woah, man. Happy birthday. What an awesome birthday, Halloween. Well, I guess I'm your birthday...present..."

That last part was probably the worst fucking thing he could have ever possibly said in that moment.

“Oh god, I’m sorry, I’m just fucking tired.  And for the record, that's a fucking horrible present."

He laughed a short, high pitched laugh.  He glanced embarrassed at Frank, trying to will the red out of his face. But his humiliation was met only with a smile. He was glad Frank was so...kind, so accepting. That was something Gerard had never really felt.

He decided to elaborate on his story.

“I woke up this morning really fucking early and feeling like shit. Yup, I woke up in the hospital.” Frank very visibly flinched at the word “hospital”. Gerard wondered what kinds of memories he had experienced there. He stored that thought in the back of his mind, continuing on, but he couldn't remember much. He just talked for what seemed like hours about how his parents had dropped him off here, signing two sheets of paper and just leaving him to the hands of strangers. He got up and stood back on the chair-but not before poking his head out the door to make sure no nurses were watching-and glanced once again out the window. The sky had cleared and the sun seemed to tell him that it was around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. He jumped down quickly from the chair as he heard footsteps in the hallway.

“Fuck,” was all he had gotten out before running into the bathroom. Because he was an idiot. He was a fucking idiot who liked to jump off of chairs while being nauseous with his new roommate watching.

 

 


	4. Mirrors, messages, and vicious cycles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's update day! I'll upload another chapter tonight maybe. Cuz this one is super short. Anyways, if you have smut that you...erm...want to be included, email it to me at closetnerd2802@gmail.com cuz I don't write that "mature" stuff. Anyways, thank you for reading! Any criticism is welcome! I love you!

**Chapter 4:**  

Gerard stared at the mirror for a some time. Not looking at himself, but looking at what was written in bright red marker. He couldn’t stop reading it, over and over and over again. He was glad to know there was another nerd in this place.  He smiled gently.  He couldn't remember the last time he had smiled that much.  True smiles.

When he was a few years younger, he had drunk himself into oblivion, no sense of anything. And one of his “friends” had somehow convinced him to jump off the roof. So yeah, he broke his hand and shattered a few ribs. Later on in the hospital, he found out that he may not be able to talk again, due to a few pieces from his ribs that had punctured part of his lungs. And they were right, he wasn’t able to talk for what seemed like years. But eventually, when he was alone, he would sing. It was painful at first, singing with previously punctured lungs. But eventually, he had his voice back. He still didn’t talk, though. Only sang alone in the shower. Before long, he was talking. And screaming. And crying. And cutting. And drinking. And taking the oh-so-familiar pills. And waking up without knowing where he was, or sometimes even who he was. And crying. Again. And again. And again. It was vicious cycle. It was a deadly battle. And he was sent here to win it.  He just wasn't so sure he could.  


	5. Some more of the same message and the possibility of friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, as promised, here's the next chapter! Another long chapter will be here in a bit, but not quite yet! Thanks to everyone who read/did the thousand other things that I don't remember to show appreciation of this story! Luvs ya with LOVE HEARTS! Bye bye.

**Chapter 5:**

Frank was happy to have a roommate.  He didn’t like being alone.  At least now, he didn’t have to worry about the nurses that liked to come in while he was showering, going through his personal belongings.  And he didn’t have to lie in the dark, alone.  But mostly, he was glad he didn’t have to be alone most of the time.  Now, he had a nice boy to keep him company.  Unless, of course, the nice boy turned out to be like most of the others, finding him strange and weird-not that they weren’t-and deciding to alienate him.  He would be okay, but he like this new kid.  Oh yeah, Gerard.  Frank thought that name was cool.  But what was even cooler was his last name.  Way.  He was stuck with “Iero”, which sounded cool for the first decade and a half of his life, but then got a bit boring.  He still didn’t tell Gerard about his previous birthday experience, of course.  He didn't want to freak him out too much on his first day.  

He helped Gerard unpack his belongings, trying his best to ignore the couple of family pictures stored in with his other clothes.  But Gerard left the room with the photos before Frank had had a real chance to observe them.  After a few minutes, Gerard was back.  Frank didn't realized he had let out a sigh of relief until Gerard glanced at him.

"You okay?"  A look of worry clouded his face, but soon passed as Frank nodded his head, his cheeks bright red.  Gerard smiled and brushed his long, black hair out of his eyes.  He wasn't really sure what he looked like.  He probably should have looked in the mirror instead of staring at the message that he presumed Frank had written.  Gerard almost didn't want to see what he looked like.  He hadn't in a while, though, and curiosity got the best of him.  He made his way into the bathroom, accidentally brushing past Frank on the way.  He blushed, thankful that Frank was behind him.  Then, he glanced towards the mirror.  


	6. Music and Frank's Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: I totally messed up, so go back and read chapter 3! I made some changes. If you are too lazy (like me) here's what you miss:  
> Gerard and Frank admit to their issues, but they don't share nearly as much as I had before. Gerard was too open. I didn't really like that, so if you want this to make sense, go back! Anyways, thanks! Luv ya!
> 
> Hilo again! I broke 200 views! Yay! Thxs to all of you hedgehogs! So, I finished my story over on FFN, so now, you have my full attention! I've also decided to make this story 21 chapters long and have a sequel! I also have no idea if anything that I talk about is at all true (The emotional pieces are sometimes based on my personal emotional roller coaster of a life), but pretend it is! Absolutely none of this is meant to offend anyone. I love you all! Thank you guys a million bajillion times!  
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Also, I'm not in any way affiliated with MCR. Everything in this story is fictional.  
> I may post another chapter tonight! Idk, ttyl!

**Chapter 6:**

Music therapy was something that had been added into his schedule over the past few months of being here at Planetary. The therapists had been convinced that listening to music would somehow lessen his want to kill himself. He wasn't quite sure how it worked, but he knew something was making him happier. But he wasn't sure whether that was the medication, the music, the isolation, or the therapy. Whatever it was, it made him feel at least a little better. Plus, they let him listen to whatever kind of music he liked. So, he picked up the CD of Muse and played some of his favorites.

He had left when Gerard had disappeared. He guessed he was in the bathroom, but assumed Gerard would want privacy. Plus, Frank had his therapy appointment, anyways. Music therapy was definitely his favorite time. He got to be in a room by himself, listening to everything he loved. Everything and anything. He didn't know many current songs, being locked up in this place for a whole year, but had a great sense in music. He just really liked music. It just made sense. And he really liked that. He liked that something was genius. Plus, he sometimes hummed. When he was **completely** alone and wasn't under any kind of pressure, he would be able to hum. He didn't sing, afraid of being heard and of what he would sound like, but rather hummed peacefully. Sometimes, if he got up early enough, he would be able to do it. It was always a huge surprise every time, but he had a right to be surprised.

It had officially been a year. He hadn't spoken in a year. Not since his...incident. Not since his death. Damn those great doctors. Damn those wonderful physicians that save the dead and bring them back from Hell. Frank had been so close, so ready. He was so prepared to die. He had already had a life of hell, how different would the real place be? Frankly, he didn't care. He didn't want to care. He just didn't care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, anyone wanna comment?


	7. A little scare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains swearing  
> Haha, why would I even put a warning? I never do that. Anyways, as promised, here is your chapter! It's a little longer than usual, so...I hope you like my writing! This is a pretty fluffy chapter, so be prepared. Haha, I was so immature when I wrote this. I wrote this a few weeks ago, by the way. I hate reading my writing, so if you find any errors, let me know! Oh, the feels! Jk, my goal is to give someone a case of the feels! But I probably am not good enough to do that. Luv ya all! Bye bye for tonight!

**Chapter 7:**

When Gerard got back from the bathroom, Frank was gone. He was kind of panicked at first, but then realized that the residents here didn't just sit around all day.  Of course, Gerard didn’t find what he was looking for in the bathroom.  What place would allow a patient in a mental asylum to keep scissors in their bathroom?  Yes, Gerard was still the same idiot he was minutes before.  He shoved the pictures into his sweatshirt pocket and started out.  

He was walking through the hall when a voice called to him. He turned to see a man in a white coat half-running, half-walking towards him awkwardly.

"Gerard, it's nice to finally meet you. I'm sorry for not meeting you earlier, we just discharged one of our longest residents. He was here for a few years." He noticed the worry on Gerard's face. "But I am positive we can get you out of here in no time. I promise. Ah yes, now, where were we?  Oh yeah, I am the head doctor here at Planetary.  My name is Dr. Stump, but feel free to call me by my first name, Patrick.  Have you been given a tour yet?”  Gerard shook his head and Dr. Stump led him through many corridors and pointed to the different wings.  

“Over here, we have Ray and Bob.  Ray is from NJ, too.  They have been here a few months now.  I’m sure you will befriend them quickly.  Great boys, them two.”  

Ray waved happily at me, so I slowly waved back.  Bob said a quick ‘sup’ and turned back to their card game.

“Ray,” Dr. Stump called to him.  “Have you seen Frank?  Ah yes, how could I forget!  He’s in music therapy.”

Dr. Stump seemed to be a very forgetful person.  Gerard wasn’t sure what to think about that…

“Music therapy is a new program we added.  Studies have proven to improve mental health, so we thought we would give it a try.  Frank volunteered to be our guinea pig.  I think he just volunteered because we let him play what ever he wants.”

Gerard could hear the slightest echo of a bass, signaling that they were growing closer to Frank.  He kind of half-smiled, glad to see his...friend(?) again.  Meanwhile, Dr. Stump was still talking.

“...We don’t let the nurses supervise him until he presses a button to let us know we are welcome.  We agreed that he would get privacy for half an hour.  We thought it was only fair."  He stopped talking as they neared the door.  There was a one way mirror, allowing Gerard to see inside, but Frank had no idea they were there.  Gerard didn't think that was fair.  But, nonetheless, he peered inside.  It was one of those rooms he had seen on TV and stuff, cushioned walls and bright white pillows.  He watched curiously, searching for Frank.  He had leaned close to the window to get a wider view, but he couldn't see Frank.  

"You should know, although he can't see you-"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH"

Frank's face had suddenly popped up in the window in front of Gerard, Dr. Stump's voice interrupted by Gerard's high-pitched scream.  Gerard had winded up on the floor, making sure his heart was still beating after skipping 20 beats in a row.  Dr. Stump decided to finish his sentence (a little too late).

"-he can hear our footsteps..."

“FFFFUUUUCCCCKKK”

“Language, Mr. Way.”

“Oh yeah, sorry.”

Dr. Stump took out a key ring and flipped through the keys until he found the one he had searched for.  He stepped towards the door, unlocking it quickly and stepping backwards to let Frank out.  Gerard could still hear the music playing from the room.  Anti-Flag.  Well, he was almost sure he and Frank would get along.  Anyone with Gerard's taste in music deserves to be his friend.  But of course, on the rare occasion that someone shared his taste in music, he discovered they were fake...or they just thought he was too weird to be friends with.  So, Gerard still continued his life as an introvert with social anxiety, no friends, and some seriously messed up shit.  Fun.

Frank had stumbled out of the doorway after shutting off the music, laughing uncontrollably.  He had practically made Gerard shit himself!  But Gerard seemed okay-despite the fact that he was on the ground-so Frank laughed in good nature.  His silent laughter once again wracked his body and he shook uncontrollably.  He watched as Dr. Stump tried to peel Gerard’s body from the floor.  Gerard went limp, all of a sudden, and Frank stopped laughing.  He ran up to Gerard, guilt laced in his face, mixed with fear, worry, anxiety, and confusion.  He started to panic, looking frantically at Dr. Stump for help.  His calm demeanor only worried Frank more, and he almost started to cry.  Gerard wasn’t moving and his eyes were shut.  Frank crawled over and listened to see if he was breathing.  At that moment, Gerard’s eyes flung open and he sat up, slightly blinded by the light.  He just happened to sit up where Frank was.  So, they collided awkwardly for the third time and both fell back onto the floor.  Gerard spoke after the red had left his cheeks slightly and the shock passed.

“Gotcha.”

It came out again more as a question than a statement.  He tried to get up, but slipped, as usual, over his socks-his shoes had been confiscated during his transition period (he never got them back).  He started to laugh, glancing sideways at Frank, hoping he didn’t see that.  But he did.  Great.  Of course, this resulted in laughter.  So much laughter.  

Dr. Stump eventually cleared his throat, bringing the boys back to reality.  It had felt so good to laugh, so nice to take a break from his issues.  So nice to be happy again.  But Gerard’s doubts that the feeling would last were confirmed.  As if a tsunami had hit him, he instantly felt as if he was being crushed by a bag of bricks.  His whole soul seemed to be exhausted just by thinking about it.  But then he looked at Frank’s still-smiling face.  And he let out one last laugh, one last happy sound, before sinking back into his misery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment?


	8. Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I have no set schedule anymore haha! Here, I'll update 3 times a week for the next few weeks? Let me know what you think about the chapter, the next one is probably one of my favorites! I'm so tired, I've ditched grammar. Yay? Thank you to everyone who read this! I love you all! I'm getting so excited for the second story in the series! Until next time!

Chapter 8:  
Gerard had gotten what he had originally wanted. After departing from Frank, Dr. Stump had finished his tour and led him back to his office.

"Can I have a pair of scissors?"

Dr. Stump nodded and directed him to return them after use. Gerard wasn't planning anything, he just needed to alter a photo. He took out his only family pictures he had brought with him and started to make a cut. He had carefully cut around him and his brother, letting his parents fall to the ground after finishing. He picked the scraps up off the floor and discarded them into the trash. Then, he returned the scissors and listened to Planetary's long list of rules.

Always keep the medical bracelet on.

Visitors will be allowed during visiting hours: 9:00-4:00.

No shoelaces or drawstrings

No sharp objects permitted in rooms or during unsupervised times.

Take medication correctly and willingly (even if Gerard resisted, he would be given the medication one way or another)

Eat what is given to you

Be in bed by “lights out”

No wallets, electronics, or bags

Stay in permitted clothes only (Gerard wondered if he would be allowed to wear his band t-shirts)

No unpermitted relationships (Dr. Stump had watched Gerard carefully for that one-he had seen something before, something a little bit...strange)

Do not be late to scheduled activities

Outdoor time must be spent outdoors

Do not disrespect other patients or nurses/staff.

Do not lie

Do not steal

Do not bribe

Do not leave the building without supervision-even to go into the courtyard

Do not eat or drink anything without asking a nurse

Do not leave your room until nurses permit you.

Spend your free time in the lounge, the cafeteria, or the group therapy room

Do not threaten or harm other patients

Do not stand on chairs (he was definitely glared at for that one)

Do not bounce or jump on or from a bed.

Do not attempt self-harm or suicide

Do not sing disruptively (Gerard wasn’t sure if he could do that one)

And the list went on forever. Gerard listened. He wasn’t a goody-two-shoes, but he didn’t like trouble or attention. He figured that if he just followed the rules and didn’t make any trouble, he would just blend into the walls and hallways. He was soon dismissed for lunch. He was not given a watch, but there were clocks in almost every hall and room. He saw the time was 1:00 in the afternoon. And, as usual, Gerard was lost. Gerard was still walking the halls when he heard laughing. He turned the corner and found three boys around his age cackling. They had backed someone into a corner. Gerard could see a boy's face buried in his arms. He was crying. The sight made Gerard's heart wrench and he fought the urge to throw up and scream at the same time. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to protect this kid. He didn't know who he was, or even how to help him. He looked around quickly, but didn’t see a soul in sight. The boys were talking to him now in low voices. Gerard strained his ears to hear what they were saying, trying to get a grasp on the situation. He turned his attention back to the boys before realizing something that made his heart stop.


	9. More Frank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, this was hard to write, but...Frank faces some troubles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so in this next chapter, there is some bullying. It is mostly because of Frank's sexuality, but please note that my opinions and beliefs are not shared with the characters' opinions. This is an issue commonly seen in many communities, so it seemed necessary to mention in the story. But the extent of homophobia is limited, so most bullying is due to character personality clashes, using sexuality against Frank. I love you all. I have never written anything like this before, so please be warned about my horrible writing skills! See you guys soon!  
> (It's a longer chapter this time :D)

**Chapter 9:**

After Gerard had left with Dr. Stump, Frank remembered what he had written on his mirror.  He rushed back to his room and entered the bathroom.  He stared at the message and hoped Gerard hadn’t read it.  But how could he not?  Gerard had been in the bathroom and there was no way to miss the bright red message on his reflection.  Frank’s soul fell as he buried his ashamed face in his hands.  He was sure that everyone official thought he was pretty horribly fucked up.  But who wasn’t in this place?  It was a fucking mental institution, for crying out loud!  But he was still one of the worst patients.  He had been here longer than most of the patients, so, not a great reputation.  But his spirits began to lift as he thought of Gerard.  Gerard was new, so Frank still had a chance to make a friend.  Just the thought of Gerard made Frank smile.  Frank didn’t want to admit this to himself, but he thought Gerard was...attractive.  Not that Frank was attracted to him (or so he told himself), but he just thought Gerard was better-looking than most of the New Jersey population.  Yeah, Frank was satisfied with that answer.  He checked the clock and noticed it was nearing 12:45.  He decided to visit the lounge to see if they had any new comics before lunch.

He set out with his composition notebook in one hand, a small, short pencil (the only kind that they allowed) wedged in between the cover and the first page.  He gripped it against his chest, almost protectively.  He wasn’t afraid of anyone taking it, he just didn’t really want anyone to see what he wrote at night by the moonlight.  The pages were filled with song lyrics, stories, music, drawings, and just words.  Random words that just came into his mind would be quickly jotted down.  He didn’t know why he wrote them all down, it just seemed to calm him.  It was one way to release emotions.  

He had turned into the lounge when he spotted Mort and his group.  Frank immediately turned around.  He wasn’t scared, he just didn’t want to fight.  He knew that there were no nurses in the lounge in between 12:45 and 1:00 usually, so he thought it better to just find a comic another time.  But no, he didn’t get to run away.  They had already seen him.  It was too late.

*******

“Faggot” was one of Frank’s least favorite insults.  He didn’t like a lot of words, but that one wasn’t one that he necessarily liked.  Even though it was scrawled in his notebook multiple times.  But that didn’t matter, it was for him, anyways.

“Fag,” Mort spat at him.  It wasn’t the first time this had happened.  It happened at least once a week, sometimes more.  He just sucked it up, just like he always did.  But that didn’t mean it didn’t suck.  Yeah, life still sucked.  

He didn’t respond to Mort.  He didn’t turn around when called by his “name”.  He didn’t acknowledge anything.  This was a bad mistake.  Before he had time to react to the footsteps that were getting increasingly louder, a hand was tightly gripped on his shoulder, spinning him around.  Frank winced at the tight grip internally, but didn’t let it show.  He let his eyes glaze over, something he had always done when enduring something he didn’t give a shit about.  But, that, too, was a bad mistake.  Mort punched him.  He didn’t care, but violence was violence.  And Frank sucked when it came to that.  So, basically, Mort used the fact that Frank was short, weak, hadn’t exercised well in almost a year, and mute to his advantage.  He had backed him into the corner in no time, dragging him from the hall to the lounge, away from any possible eyes.  Frank gave up even struggling.  

Mort spat at him and told his “friends” to join him.  They had surrounded Frank in a matter of seconds, backing him up until his back came in contact with the white wall.  He hoped there was no blood on the wall today.  He spoke-well, thought-too soon.  Mort grabbed him by the hair and jerked his head back into the wall.  It made a _thunk_ sound and he felt his head start to pound.  He hoped really really hard that it wasn’t bleeding.  He didn’t want to be questioned.  He felt tears run slowly down his face.  

“Does that hurt you?  Oh, I’m so so sorry, my little baby,” Mort said in his fake, angelic tone.  He grabbed Frank and repeated the action.  

“Oh no, am I hurting your precious, little head?”

He did it again.  

“If it hurts, you should really say something.  Huh?  What was that?  I’m sorry, I can’t hear you,” he put his hand up to his ear in mock concern.  

“What was that?  Do it again?  Okay, if you insist.”

The bastard did it again.  By now, Frank really didn’t give even half a fuck.  He didn’t even give a quarter of a fuck. He just wanted it to stop.  

Mort finally let go of Frank’s head and moved on to insults.  

“You little fag, where’s your new _boy_ friend?  Wait, didn’t you guys, like, just meet?  How many times have you had sex?  Huh?  Aw, I bet you’re really sore, huh.  Maybe I should soothe the pain a bit.  Whaddya think?”

He pulled his foot back and kicked Frank hard in the side.  And then he kicked him again.  And again.  And again.  Frank didn’t feel it.  He was more focused on the mysterious nails on his fingers that were digging into his palm.  There was no way he could cut at this place, but when things got bad, he did press into his skin with his fingernails.  It was nice, the pain.  He almost enjoyed it.  He finally noticed that the kicking had stopped.  In fact, Mort had been pulled away from him.  So had Mort’s friends.  They were all somewhere on the other side of the room.  He heard a lot of swearing.  He just shut his eyes and felt himself slowly lose consciousness.  Before blacking out, he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, pulling him in close.  Then, he felt his tears being gently brushed away.  He slowly managed to pry his eyes open, seeing only beautiful hazel circles of hope.  Then, he saw black and only black.

 ****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment?


	10. I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry it's been a few days, I've had a bajillion tests...so...Oh my freaking gosh I just looked into the window and saw someone there and FREAKED OUT and then realized it was my reflection and the tapping sound I thought was someone tapping on my window was just this horrible hail/snow/rain storm that we have the joys of experiencing (meaning you risk everything by going out into the slippery street just to buy some ice cream). Great life... Anyways, sorry for not uploading, but I'm on break until MONDAY so I have a lot of time to write and upload! And this chapter's short, so the next one will be up sooner than usual! (even though I don't really have any usual upload schedule) Luvsyaguyssomuch!

**Chapter 10:**

Gerard was pretty fucking scared.  He didn’t know what had happened before he came, but he knew for sure that it was worse than the insults and kicking that he had witnessed.  He had gauged the situation before jumping in, planning his rescue.  But he had to act quickly.  The boys were worsening Frank’s state by the second, but Gerard could barely breathe, let alone function.  

He heard footsteps from behind him.  He spun around to see two burly security guards running toward him.  He sidestepped to let them pass and watched as the boys noticed the pounding feet.  They quickly jumped backwards, away from Frank.  They kind of half formulated a story through hand gestures, but Gerard didn’t care what happened to them.  He rushed over to Frank and slipped his arm around the smaller boy’s shoulders.  Frank was already losing consciousness.  And fast.  He took one last glance at Gerard before shutting his eyes.  Gerard winced and wiped the tears from Frank’s cheeks.  He should have done something sooner.  He should have helped him.  Why couldn’t he _think_?

“I’m sorry.”

That was all he could get out before he choked on his own tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment please?


	11. The aftermath: Frank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title. In the title of the chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, another chapter! It's SUPER DUPER short, I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this story. Probably: Oh yeah, I'll just have 20 or so chapters but it'll really be the equivalent of 3 chapters, just with the inconvenience of having to press the "next chapter" button and then wait for the page to load so that no one will want to read it...  
> Genius, Mind=blown

**Chapter 11:**

Frank was back in a hospital bed when he woke up.  It was bright.  Well, at least, brighter than he wanted it to be.  But he didn't really care.  Nothing really mattered.  Suddenly, the memories came rushing back to him.  He sat up straight in bed.  He winced majorly and felt for the side of the bed railing, willing the world to stop spinning.  Nothing helped.  He huffed and laid back down, shutting his eyes slowly.  He drifted back into a restless sleep, dreaming only of those mysterious, hazel eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LUVSYAGUYS  
> OKAY:  
> I'm not okay (sorry, I had to do that)  
> So I looked, the 18th chapter is long again! Just wait until then. For now, deal with the billion page flips!


	12. Visiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hilo again! This is a shorty, but I'll probably update again tomorrow! It probably doesn't make any sense...I'm tired. Happy holidays!

Chapter 12:

"Come on! Let me just make sure he's okay. Please, he's my roommate, after all. I was the one who found him! I was there! I helped him get into the infirmary wing! I...I, just let me in!"

"Excuse me, Mr. Way, but you are not allowed into this part of the residence! Only immediate family. Are you immediate family?"

"No, but-"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Way, but you are not permitted in here."

"Well, I don't see any family in here, do you?"

"Well, Sir, he does not have any family that would like to visit him."

"So...I'm still not going in, am I?"

"Sir," her face softened, "I know what it is like, my husband went into a vegetative state three months ago. But it is against policy."

Gerard nodded and sat down on a chair outside of the wall, letting his head fall into his hands.

"Let him in."

Gerard jumped, frightened by the sudden voice. He turned, grateful to be met by Dr. Stump.

"Go ahead, Gerard. He should be waking up by now."

Gerard practically jumped twenty feet in the air. He was worried. He wasn't quite sure what worried him. He knew that Frank would be okay, he could tell the younger boy was strong. But he, himself, was still shocked by what he had witnessed. And heard.

He kind of half winced before letting out a final breath and stepping inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving!


	13. FLW References and Awkward Silences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TEEHEE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Herayougo! Okay, it looks like "Hera" but it's really just me being to lazy to type "here-a". Anyways, now that we've covered how much of a lazy failure I am, we can talk for ever until you decide to just leave and read the chapter that happens to be...very short. Sorry again. Does anyone ever read these notes anyways? Probably not, but I like them! And if you do read them, you are my best friend...follow me on Twitter, New Best Friend! @closetnerd2802  
> Do it. I'll probably follow you back. Yay! Anyways, let me know what y'all think. Btw, it may not be clear, but the second sentence talks about bright lights and shadows...Luvsya!

**Chapter 13:**

**A/N okay, real fast guys, but in the second sentence, notice the MCR Famous Last Words reference.  I'm amazing, I know.  Teehee, onto the story!**

Frank's eyes had just opened again.  Once again, the bright lights blinded him, casting shadows of his figure on the tiled floor.  He grew stiff and tense, nervous energy coursing through him.  But he relaxed as the familiar setting started to process in his heavily drugged mind.  He wasn't in the hospital, just in the infirmary wing.  The sudden pressure that had clouded his chest and sped up his heart beat dissipated and eventually disappeared.  But nervousness once again smashed into him.  In the best way possible.  Well, the best form.  And that form was Gerard.

Gerard was standing awkwardly in the doorway, waiting for unspoken words to enter.  Frank smiled as they made eye contact, and Gerard took that as a friendly grant of permission.  Frank was feeling instantly better despite his multiple injuries and pounding head, but he realized that he had no way of communicating.  He searched the room before finding a notebook next to him.  But it wasn't alone.  There was a pair of hands holding it.  And arms attached to those hands.  And a _Gerard_ attached to those arms.  And Frank panicked.  As usual.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me and let me know what you think! (info in beg. note)


	14. The Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pretty self explanatory...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, another shorty chapter. Why? Because I'm a horrible person. I'm sorry. Forgive me? No, alright. Maybe another one tonight, but get ready for tomorrow, there's a longer one in store. Still not that long, though. Sorry??? In the sequel to this story, the chapters are mostly longer, but there'll probably be a lot of chapters...so...get ready. Stay with me, don't get too impatient!

**Chapter 14:**

Gerard had begun to absently flip through the composition book in his hands.  But he stopped.  He didn't want to invade Frank's privacy.  He knew for sure that he didn't appreciate when his parents did that to him.  His parents.  Just the thought of them made Gerard feel like lead had been poured into his body.  He pulled out the slightly crumpled photos and stared at the happiness shining in his eyes.  Graduation.  High school years weren’t great for him.  He was just happy to get out.  But then, sitting there and waiting, he began to see, even through the white creases, that his eyes weren’t shining.  His mouth was smiling, but his eyes were broken, lost.  Even two years ago, he was just as fucked-up.  He didn’t realize it.  He didn’t even know what broken was.  

***

"Hi."

His voice sounded weaker than he meant it to.  He handed the notebook over to Frank, their hands brushing against each other lightly, both brushing, trying, and failing, to conceal it.  Gerard's head-and stomach-turned at the dinner bell.  Frank quickly took out the pencil and wrote to Gerard.

_I'm awake now.  You don't have to stay._

"Are you kidding?  I've waited here for hours, I'm not leaving now!"

Frank smiled.  That was the first time he hadn't been abandoned within a few minutes.  He didn't even know why Gerard decided to wait.  He didn't want to be a pity-project.

_Why?_

"Why what?  Why'd I wait?"

Frank nodded.

"Well, I wanted to make sure you were okay.  Also, I can't risk losing a friend on my first day."

Gerard smiled widely.  A grin pulled at Frank's face, but his head pounded while trying to move it.  He winced and worry flashed in Gerard's eyes.

_I'm okay._

"Rule number one, never trust anyone when they say that."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I luvs you guyses so muches  
> hey, anyone speak code idiot? (if you don't, that's ^ a sneak peak at what it looks like)


	15. Conversations upon waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, a kinda filler chapter  
> But it's killer filler  
> That made no sense okay bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I forgot to update, so...sorry. But here it is! Longer this time, too! But still not long...Happy weekend!

**Chapter 15:**   
_So...how long was I out?_

"Well, you passed out at about 1:00. It's 6:30 now."

_Oh. Well, you ate lunch at least, right?_

"They really really pushed me to, but I wanted to make sure you were okay. Plus, I'm don't really have the strongest appetite. So, they brought me a tray of flavorless food," Frank nodded knowingly at that, "and I stayed right outside."

_Thanks._

"Don't mention it, Frank."

His name rolled off of Gerard's tongue nicely. They both smiled. Frank moved his eyes from the foot of the bed to Gerard. Their smiles grew as they made eye contact, both secretly noting that the other looked quite attractive when smiling. But they didn't know each other were thinking that. They couldn't even admit to themselves that they were thinking that. But nonetheless, they decided to befriend each other. They promised to make the other smile again.

Frank finally broke the long stare to write again.

_Do you, um, know what's...happening?_

"Oh yeah, they said you had a minor concussion."

Gerard could have told him he was there, but he didn't want to be lectured for not doing more than just standing and watching. Plus, he wasn't really ready to admit that yet.

"It's not that bad, though."

But Frank didn't really hear his attempt at comfort. He was too busy writing.

_Don't worry. It's not always this bad._

Gerard could barely read it. Frank's hands were shaking worse than an earthquake. Gerard could see tears welling up in Frank's beautiful eyes. Gerard instantly reacted, worried about what had so quickly turned the boy from okay to breaking down. Okay was about the best they could get. But it's better than breaking down.

Frank’s face was buried in his hands as he finally let loose. He sobbed silently into the white sheets, turning them a pale gray.

“Hey. Frank. Hey, Frank, look at me.”

Frank didn’t move, he just kept on crying.

Gerard reached over from the side of the bed and cupped Frank’s chin, raising his red eyes to meet his own.

“What’s wrong?”

Frank just blinked. But he didn’t write anything. He didn’t do anything. He just sat and stared at Gerard.

Gerard didn’t push him. Frank had seemed to stop crying. They stopped moving, ceasing their breaths. They just stared into each other’s eyes. Gerard was sure Frank was okay. He was also kind of uncomfortable. He wasn’t used to people looking at him. Especially with the intensity that was coming from Frank. He cleared his throat and moved his hand back into his lap. He broke his gaze and stood.

“I should get to dinner, now.”

Frank nodded but didn’t really hear him. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of Gerard. He couldn’t remember the last time he blinked. Gerard kind of stood and waved a weird, awkward saluteish thing before turning out the door. He could still feel the eyes of Frank staring into his soul. He couldn’t even start to think about what had just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, ugh, looking back on this, my writing is horrible. I'll go back and rewrite sometime??


	16. Let's review

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A recap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hilo, I have a funny story...so when I first started writing this story, I hadn't read any fanfics on MCR, but I'm reading this amazing fanfic by Helena_Hathaway where Frank ends up dying, but being resuscitated...I just thought it was funny because Frank was resuscitated in my story, also, but I didn't know about her story until a week ago!
> 
> Anyways, Luvs ya and don't hate me because I forgot to update...

Chapter 16:  
Overall, Frank decided he had an okay birthday. He had made a (possible?) friend, gotten his head smashed into a wall, thus leading to a minor concussion, scared someone, laughed a lot more than usual, given someone cake, got a roommate, and got to spend the first night with his roommate in a bed that was not in his own room, and not with his roommate. Plus, he had met someone that actually shown an ounce of care, not like the nurses and Dr. Stump, but a friend who might actually care about him. Of course, he didn’t mean in a way anywhere past friendship, but still, even friendship was a new topic for him. His brain was in overdrive, constantly thinking, his eyes darting around the room. He was so uncomfortable. So so uncomfortable. He didn’t really know why. Then, he realized it: he had to pee. The nurses had given him a lot of medication, but he was pretty convinced he could make it to the bathroom on his own. He hoped that no one would see him and force him to go back in bed to pee in this weird contraption that the nurses had given him. He climbed out of bed slowly. The world was spinning, but he was able to steady it enough to grab onto the wall. He crept along the perimeter of the room. The room was huge. There was a direct path from the bed to the door. But Frank’s bed was in the middle of the room. And there was a very dizzy boy trying to get from one side of the room to the other. And that boy had to pee. Badly. But little did he know that there was someone who had come to say goodnight. 

Gerard had finished dinner. He hadn’t wanted to sit with anyone. He didn’t really want to socialize. Plus, it was his only first day. He had a lot more time here to make friends. But Bob and Ray came by, anyways. They talked to him about...comics. It was one of the best conversations that Gerard could remember in a long time. Then, before he knew it, he was done with dinner and had to go visit Dr. Stump. They talked, but Gerard wasn’t really listening. He was told what medications he would be prescribed, but Gerard didn’t really care-or understand. They long names just kind of strung together. It was 8:15. He had 15 minutes before he had to be back in his room. He looked around half-heartedly for Ray and Bob, but found himself walking to the infirmary. Gerard’s eyes were still tinted red, but the swelling had gone down. He wasn’t even sure why he had cried so much. He didn’t even know Frank. Or the other boys. He wondered if he was really crying for Frank, or for himself. He found that he was extremely emotional these days. His mind, too, ran a mile a minute, but he wasn’t sure why. He was nearing the door to the infirmary. He walked as quietly as possible, careful to make little sound, in case Frank was asleep. He stepped softly to the door. He put his face up to the window to peer inside.  
“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!”  
Frank’s face was there. Again. But he wasn’t looking satisfied, like before. He looked...frightened. Gerard let out a nervous laugh. Then, he started a full out have a laugh attack. They had scared each other. They had successfully scared the living shit out of each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh my writing sucks. I'm rereading this, and it is probably the stupidest thing I have ever read ugh! But thanks to everyone for reading, and to everyone who keeps on reading despite the horribleness. (Trust me, the sequel is a lot better)


	17. Frankie just scared the living shit out of Gee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh just...ugh my writing makes no sense sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me this sucks so much :|

**Chapter 17:**  
"What are you doing out of bed?"  
Frank looked around and behind him.  
"Yes, I'm talking to you, weirdo."  
Every time Frank had been called a weirdo, it had been meant as an insult. Even before he stopped speaking he was alone, a social outcast. But now, with this kid he barely even knew, he laughed at the title. It sounded pretty ridiculous coming from the twenty something year old in front of him who was, for the record, on the ground, still trying to get his heart rate back to normal. Not to mention they were in a mental institution.

Frank looked around. _Shit_ , he thought. He had forgotten his notebook on his bed. But now, especially after that episode, he wasn’t necessarily up for going back just to tell Gerard he was going to piss. Which he needed to do very very badly by then. And so, he ran, leaving the older boy stranded in the middle of the hall, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. But Gerard was almost glad to be alone. Well, not near Frank. He had grown a natural liking to the boy, but his mind was still disorganized from what he had heard earlier. He wasn’t even sure what he had heard. But it did make him wonder. And it also kind of worried him. He hadn’t even been there more than a day, but he was already being labeled as a fag. He didn’t deny that-he didn’t necessarily agree with it either-but he was still a little worried. He was almost positive that his “relationship” with Frank was only to make Frank uncomfortable, but the boys hadn’t known Gerard was there.  
Gerard kind of gasped. There had to be something Frank had done to set off their reactions like that. Gerard didn’t think Frank was gay. He seemed too...just, he seemed too hetero. But he didn’t know anymore. Reading people had never been a strong point for Gerard. But he got up, anyways. Well, not that he wanted to, but Frank once again scared him half to death. Gerard had been so lost in thought, he hadn’t even heard the footsteps.  
It was only then that Gerard realized he was lying on the ground. But he was face down. So he was just laying there. He was almost convinced he had freaked out Frank, but Frank just smiled after prodding his shoulder with his toe. Gerard smiled back, but the smile wasn’t in his eyes. He thought of how much easier his time would be if he started out on the right foot (for once). And that right foot didn’t seem to be Frank’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm going back to rewrite chapters! Yay! So if something is really off, it's because I'm an idiot...sorry... Luvs ya guys and THANK YOU for staying with me while I cringe at my absolutely horrible writing!
> 
> In case you're wondering, the first five or so chapters have been rewritten, so go back if you want more!


	18. Visiting (Flashback)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey's stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? No, okay...

**Chapter 18:**  
**A/N Okay, so this is a really weird, short chapter from Mikey’s POV. Don’t judge me, he isn’t supposed to be a real character in the story, but I wanted to write from his perspective. For fun. Yay?**  
**Okay, I’m an idiot. It’s not in his point of view, it’s 3rd person limited (to Mikey). At least for the first part. I don’t know. By the end, it gets kind of Gerard thought-y. Sorry guys. Forgive me.**  
It was a week since Mikey’s birthday. But he didn’t care. He was just happy to see his brother. Mikey almost never saw his brother, even though his college was only, like, a four hour drive away. Their schedules just never matched. But none of that mattered. He was going to see his brother! He had finally convinced his mom to let him drive to New York. It took a lot of time, Mikey was pretty happy with the outcome. Gerard had shared an apartment with his friend, but his friend left for “some unknown reasons”. That was pretty worrisome to Mikey, but Gerard dismissed it quickly, so Mikey followed in suit. He looked up to Gerard, idolizing him. Gerard didn’t understand that-as he had told Mikey many, many times-but Mikey continued to keep him as his role model.  
Mikey had finally arrived in front of Gerard’s new address before hearing a high-pitched squealing sound. He turned around from the car to see a guy running towards him. He was going at full speed and Mikey was scared, not just a little, but he would’ve pissed himself right there and then if he hadn’t noticed it was just Gerard. Just, you know, his best friend for his entire life, plus his lifelong companion, and his brother whom he hadn’t seen it what felt like fourteen billion lifetimes. Mikey returned the action. They clashed in a bear hug, receiving some pretty weird looks from passerbyes. They just ignored them and continued their embrace. Mikey had really missed his brother. Gerard had always been a good kid, he just did fine. Mikey, on the other hand, wasn’t as interested in school. He spent way too much time ditching to see bands play in the big city. Mikey mostly looked up to Gerard because everyone else liked him. Even their parents favored Gerard. He was just, a pretty great guy. Mikey was the real trouble of the family.

They finally broke the hug and went inside. They talked for hours, just talking. But Mikey was kind of confused why Gerard was wearing a long sleeve shirt. It wasn’t that cold out, and every time Mikey had seen Gerard in previous years, he was wearing some kind of T-shirt with his favorite band on it. He barely ever wore long-sleeves. So, Mikey asked pretty bluntly. But Gerard didn’t hear and just moved on, so Mikey dismissed it, too. As usual.

They had ordered pizza, ate like fiends, and hit the sack. Mikey was out in two seconds. Something about driving made him so so tired. Even though he wasn’t even doing anything. And by not doing anything, that meant moshing to every song that came up on his playlist. It was probably a safety hazard to everyone. Literally everyone.  
He was woken in the night suddenly. He heard this...he didn’t know how to describe it. It was just this awful sound coming from the room adjacent to his. He wasn’t sure what was happening and moved to get out of bed. But he kind of stopped and sat on the edge of the bed. He had just had a pretty horrible nightmare. And he was kind of too scared to get out from the safety of his bed. But nonetheless, the sound didn’t stop. So Mikey dragged himself up, clutching a pillow to his chest. He had made it into the hallway by the time the sound had stopped. He knocked softly on the door, just to make sure. After peeking inside to see a Gerard sleeping soundly, he shut the door and left to pee. He didn’t want to have to go back into the hall completely unable to see, so he didn’t turn on the light. He was kind of creeped out, plus, he was already blind enough, he didn’t need to have to go through the process of readjusting his eyes. He made his way into the bathroom and discarded his pillow somewhere on the way. He only knew one, well, two, well, three things.  
The sound had stopped.  
He was still on edge from his nightmare.  
He really really had to pee.  
He made his way to the toilet. He heard the light padding of footsteps. He tensed. The mirror was at just the angle so that when he looked in from where he was standing, he could see the doorway. He hadn’t closed the door. Not that anyone cared. He glanced cautiously. There wasn’t anything there, so he relaxed. He closed his eyes briefly. He was pretty fucking tired. He reopened them slowly.  
Michael James Way had been scared before. He had been scared after playing Guitar Hero, and after watching Silence of the Lambs. But he had never been this scared. Ever.  
In the doorway stood a figure. And it happened to look kind of like what he had seen in his dream. And Mikey screamed. And fell to the ground. And may or may not have cried, well, not cried. That wasn’t “manly”. He just was...peeing out of his eyes. Yeah. That. Either way, he was almost positive that the Slender Man had come to visit him. And that he was dead. He saw a white face. And the faint outline of a suit. And he was so scared, he couldn’t even speak. Then, a blinding light flashed in front of his eyes.  
Mikey was prepared for the worst. He kind of always was. That was one of the joys of being naturally pessimistic. He didn’t have to be disappointed. At least that way, he got the satisfaction of being right. But that flash of light wasn’t his transition from the living to the dead, it was simply a flip of a switch. A lightswitch, to be exact.  
“Mikey, get up. The floor’s dirty. Go to bed.”  
So, Mikey wasn’t dead, he was just scared to death. Either way, his older brother had murdered him with fear. Still shaking, Mikey stood and let Gerard lead him back to bed. He noticed in the light that Gerard was back in a short-sleeve shirt. But he didn’t really care about the sleeve length. He just noticed that he was wearing one of those tux t-shirts. And he also noticed that he was not being killed, just being lulled back into sleep.  
The next morning, Mikey was up early. He had fallen asleep quickly after that incident. He hardly remembered any of it. He did, however, remember the extremely horrible sound coming from Gerard’s room.  
“Hey, do you have, like, a weird animal or something outside your room?”  
“Huh?”  
“Oh, nothing. There was just this really weird sound coming from your room last night.”  
Gerard broke eye contact and stared at his hands.  
“Sorry.” That was all he could say. Thankfully, Mikey didn’t notice the redness around his swollen eyes. Gerard wasn’t even sure how Mikey could be that oblivious. But he was thankful, nonetheless. Suddenly, the image from the previous night struck Mikey and he shivered. He also noted that Gerard was back in long sleeves. He shrugged. It seemed to be getting colder inside, even though Gerard knew he hadn’t changed the thermostat a fraction of a degree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I've been having a pretty shitty day, so I was like: Hey, why don't I upload a chapter when you guys least expect it!  
> But anyways, I can't thank you enough for reading this story. I'm not the most...erm...confident and, well, stable person, so it is crazy for me every time I see a single view! I love you guys, you mean the world to me. Seriously. Family is in the last place you'd expect to find it. In this case, it's on a fanfiction website. You guys may not love me as much as I love you, but please understand that you are truly special to me, and to everyone else. Don't ever forget it. Trust me, I've made that mistake. Take advice from the expert.  
> <3


	19. The First Stage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some symptoms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hilo! Sorry it took so long to update, but I'm gonna be gone for a little while (a week) and will probably not update until I get back! I don't think it really matters, but I'm trying my best to stay updated...that made no sense...great. Does anyone even read these?

**Chapter 19:  
A/N Alright guys, back to Frank and Gerard. (Not yet Frerard, btw)**  
Gerard was pretty happy. He had officially survived his first day at PMA- he couldn’t really remember the acronym. Well, he actually wasn’t sure why he was happy. First of all, he had successfully survived his first day in a mental institution. Second of all, he hadn’t gotten anything but a horrible, uncomfortable sleep that included a lot of crying, some vomiting, and a whole lot of tossing and turning. He gave an extra special shoutout to alcohol withdrawal. He had been considered being sent to a rehab center. But they had decided that they would include methods from rehab while he was getting “assistance” for his other problems. So, real lucky for him, he didn’t need to spend a year in a bunch of different places, he could just cram everything into the few months he was expected to be here. Well, that’s at least how long he hoped he would be here. He knew he wouldn’t get better anytime sooner. Because he was suicidal, not an idiot with no sense of reality. He almost had over his fair share of reality. But reality is just, well, reality.  
His hands started to shake when he woke up. He couldn’t stop the shaking. He looked at his hands. He just watched them. He did something he had discovered when he was a little boy. He found that if he looked at his hands for long enough without moving, they would start to feel detached from his body. Like, he didn’t even feel them anymore. They were just hands that happened to be resting on top of his legs. He kind of liked that feeling. He liked to know that he wasn’t a part of his body anymore. He was slowly breaking into pieces. And that was okay. But a nurse came in and decided to move his gaze from his hands. He was kind of pissed, but was more focused on the spinning of the world. She guided him out of bed, but not without many many many struggles and failed attempts. They hobbled down the hallway together. But she couldn’t hold his weight any longer and sat him down in a wheelchair. The young man would have enjoyed this more, but he was seeing someone in front of him. But that person wasn’t wearing a nurse’s uniform. He was wearing his very favorite Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt.  
“Mikey!”  
The image flickered. Gerard lurched forward in his chair.  
“Mikey! I’m here. I’m okay. I’m here.”  
But it was too late. Mikey was gone. Gerard collapsed onto the floor.  
He felt it coming. He couldn’t hold it back any longer. He threw up all over himself and the floor. Before the darkness enclosed him, he heard voices speaking above him. He could barely make out a few of the words.  
“...withdrawal…dangerous...bad”  
And he saw a stretcher coming towards him.  
He spoke with a voice barely higher than a whisper.  
“No...n-no h-h-hospitals.”  
But Gerard didn’t hear anything more after that. He couldn’t see or hear or breathe or think. He didn’t even know his own name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but I promise, in the sequel, the chapters are way longer!


	20. Awake Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PENULTIMATE CHAPTER!!! and happy holidays! Sorry I haven't updated in a while! So sorry it's a shorty...

**Chapter 20:**  
Gerard’s least favorite feeling was losing control. Unfortunately, that was his favorite feeling, too. He drank so he could stop thinking, so he could get rid of his troubles. And most of the time, he lost complete control. The bad thing was that he had an extremely high tolerance, especially after abusing the substance for years. He had wanted to stop in the beginning. But he just felt so _good_ after drinking. He enjoyed not caring. It got to the point where he was drinking so much, he lost count. Not that it was hard for Gerard to lose count. He almost never knew where he was. Or who he was. He would wake up in the middle of the night, finish off one of the half-drunk bottles from the previous night that were scattered around his room, pass out again, wake up, drink another stale drink, pass out, get up, drink a few more times, stagger out to college, pass out somewhere on the way there, be woken up by one of his “friends” (who was probably videotaping him, as usual), and fail his classes. Next he would drink into the night before waking up in a random person’s yard. He barely ever remembered what he did when he was drunk. He did, though, remember every time when he had taken the pills. That was the one thing he knew-even when his name was cloudy. He always knew his pills.  
He had been arrested numerous times, but no one really cared. He wasn’t even sure how he had enough money to pay for...well, everything. He tried to stop. He tried. But he would just wake up and need the drink. He would need it. So he did it.  
Most of the time, he would wake up on another person’s property, but occasionally, he would find himself on his own bathroom floor, his blood smeared on the white tile and his shirt. He would see the fresh cuts, but he didn’t really care. It’s not like anyone really cared about him, anyways. His friends were nowhere to be found when he really needed them. So, he learned to naturally not trust anyone. But he trusted his brother. And he wished he didn’t. He hated that the only person he could really confide in was the person he hid the most from. He didn’t like keeping secrets, but he couldn’t bear the thought of letting Mikey down. Mikey had looked up to him, idolized him so much. But he knew that if Mikey was told the truth, he would only be a disappointment in yet another person’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, warning: This story does not have a happy ending! But the series will have a happy ending. I probably shouldn't even end this story here, but I didn't mean to write a sequel, just a story with a horrible, sad ending...luvsyouguyses


	21. Hope (or lack thereof)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ALLLLRIGHT guys last one where there's people and more people and shit. Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST ONE! Don't worry (not that anyone was worrying) but there's a sequel coming out in 3 days...ok? Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I'm just losing motivation. Typical. Oh well! On with it! Oh yeah, and Happy New Year!

Chapter 21:

Almost immediately after being released from the infirmary, Gerard was rushed to one of the rooms he had seen in movies-one with padding on the walls. It was more uncomfortable than Gerard had imagined. But he wasn’t really focused on that. He knew that he was experiencing withdrawal, but he also knew he was heavily drugged. Why didn’t they just kill him? Oh yeah, Because they were in a fucking mental hospital. Gerard almost forgot.

Gerard had begun to get adjusted to the shockingly cold room. But his state didn’t last for long. He was back. Mikey was back. Gerard couldn’t speak, but he didn’t really want to. He was scared of what he would say, how he would say it, even how he would sound. He knew for sure that his breath was shaking even more than his hands. And his hands were shaking pretty violently.

He finally managed the make the words escape from his lips.

"Mikey."

It was a broken whisper. And it shattered something. It broke down the dam that was holding Gerard's emotions back. He broke into sobs. He was collapsed on the floor. But Mikey did not move. His face didn't change. It only turned colder. Mikey slowly walked forward, his feet clicking loudly, even though the floor was carpeted. Gerard raised his head. His sobs quieted down into inaudible sniffles. The silence was so loud, the tension palpable. The air was so thick, he Gerard could cut it with a knife.  
Then, the unexpected happened. Mikey laughed. It was a horrid laugh, striking a match of fear in the bottom of Gerard's stomach.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry," Gerard stuttered. "I'm s-s-so s-sorry, M-Mik-Mikey."

"Oh, you're sorry?"

Gerard nodded violently. He could no longer speak.

"If you're sorry, why didn't you do something?"

Gerard took a deep breath.

"I tried so hard. I tr-," his voice cracked, "I tried so so hard."

"You were my inspiration, my role model. And you didn't even have the decency to tell me? What happened to all that respect you had told me about? All those years of being best friends. Of being brothers. I was here for you. I was there. Next to you. And you never _once_ gave me a hint. You didn't even try."

Gerard's head shaking instantly turned dark.

"I did. I warned you. I warned you, tried to get you away from me. Tried to save you before I exploded and killed you too. I wasn't going to let my own fucked up life hurt you."  Gerard was yelling now, tears streaming down his face.  "I did tell you! I showed you! I cried. I cried so hard. You should have _noticed_. You say we were best friends, well, why didn't you _see_ that I was dead? Why couldn't you tell I was breaking down? You said you were there.  Yeah, well, it was quite obvious you weren't! You should have known. It wasn't my fault. You should have..."

His voice slowly dropped down to a whisper.  "You should have known. It wasn't my fault."

Gerard curled his knees into his chest. He rocked himself back and forth, repeating the words over and over. "It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault."

He heard Mikey approach him. A pain exploded in his side. Again and again, the pain continued. But he didn't feel it. He was already numb. Now, he was just a breathing corpse. He felt blood dripping down his back. He saw it on Mikey's shoes. And he knew that his only ally, his only hope that kept him floating, was gone. Three words rang out clearly.

"You disgust me."

And Mikey opened the door. And he was gone. Unfortunately, he had taken Gerard's last scraps of hope with him.

Gerard didn't flinch as he felt a small arm wrap around his shoulders. He didn't feel when a comforting hand reached up to rub circles on his back. He didn't cry when he felt the tears of a small, helpless, voiceless boy on his shirt. He didn't. He just didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I said the sequel has longer chapters, but at first, it doesn't...but then some are, like, 2,500 words, so, no worries, just hang in there! Wow, that's a lot of commas! Sorry, sidetracked... But anyways, I would love to thank all of my readers, especially one in particular: Bemdogmillionaire, BFFLs! But seriously, you guys are awesomesauce! I love you, stay tuned!


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